Winter Crafts

We have been on the hunt for new activities as we're all trapped in the house this winter. The gingerbread house project was such a success we moved on to sugar cookies. Perhaps you can tell from the picture, it was very well received. Ben loved decorating cookies and especially enjoyed the frosting. He bounced off the walls for an hour afterwards, but it was totally worth it.

Paula thought of the snowman and built an awesome one in the backyard yesterday. No thanks to Ben who was really put out by the snow on his gloves...his OCD continues to be funny, assuming he can eventually grow out of it (and to love the snow).

We're big into building pillow mountains for jumping too...

Any other in-door projects you can think of that we haven't tried?

Little dude

It's just me and the little dude for a few days, hubby is traveling for work. It is sooo much easier than being alone when he was a newborn. Today we ran errands together, had lunch and soon are heading out for a big walk. Actually it's like having a little friend around

He is doing a lot of good standing these days. And Paula how to walk this week (holding hands of course and it is very slow going). Still no teeth but they are coming any day.

Enjoy a couple pics.

Colds Descend

Well after the high of the marathon, all the fans hit a speed bump. Ben woke up with a runny nose Monday, bounced back on Tuesday when I started feeling it, and by Wed everyone was in bad shape. Compounded by an unusually bad week at the office, we're left with bleary eyes, stuffed up heads, laundry and dishes piling up around us, Stella' s still limping, and germs, germs, germs.

Hubby is on the road, which is actually good. Hopefully it will break the cycle of spreading. Even Paula is sick. I've alcohol-wiped everything in the house and still turn to find Ben's fingers unexpectedly poking in my mouth and then immediately in his own. Alas, this is a losing battle.


Worst of all, this dumb cold has invited my worry demons back. You may remember "the worrier" which kept me up most of the night for the first 16 weeks of Ben's life? I literally have just started sleeping with the light off the monitor at night and now this.


As I stare at my little camper in his crib, tossing and turning, sniffling and coughing, I fight with the worrier to manage the freak out. Mostly recalling this stupid, stupid, stupid book I read while pregnant where the woman's baby died of the flu (don't even get me started, it seemed a quick, innocent read when I picked it up, I never saw it coming - trust me I never would have read it). I know I should be happy he is building his immune system, and of course he woke up smiling and laughing today even though his face was a mess with mucus. But the stupid worry. Ugh.

Anyway, we will all survive. God bless us that this is our biggest challenge with all that is going on with those around us. I can't even believe I'm typing this post now that I think of it.

I promise to put up some pictures in the next 48 hours. I have tons of cute ones (obviously) from the weekend.

Stay tuned!!

Ben Loves...

Tonight while walking Stella (hubby was on the road so it was just a little team managing daily duties), Ben spent the whole time with his back arched, looking up at the trees, leaves and canopy. He loves the greenery, and when we walk close he grabs branches and thrills in the fact that he can shake the tree (thank you Peter Gabriel).

He loves the wind, and laughs immediately upon going outside if there is a breezy and his hair stands up.

He loves tummy time - we've been practicing and today he showed his first signs of crawling with a big lunge towards one of his favorite toys. He learned to spin around on his tummy last week, and now does so with tremendous ease.

His da-da-da-da. Oh man, he loves his dad. The smile hubby gets is so big and ridiculous, I'd be offended if I had time to think of anything besides how cute it is.

Paula, thank goodness.

Goofy, the cats, Stella, walking, laughing, flowers, smiling, eating, and basically just being the cutest baby ever.

Rolling into the weekend

Ben rolled over today!! Of course neither Chris nor I were home to see it (I shudder to think this is the first of many firsts we will miss...), but Paula said he managed to turn over twice today in his crib while napping.

And much like a turtle, he found himself stuck and unhappy on his back and started to cry. Hopefully we'll see a repeat of it this weekend and perhaps even capture on film!

The Nanny

If you'll recall, I had great anxiety about the nanny selection process. For a thousand reasons, but primarily, wrestling with the idea of leaving my baby for work, and the fact that it is really hard to determine if someone is qualified while I'm still figuring out how to take care of him myself.

I mentioned I interviewed about 15 people, and ultimately went with Paula who was one of the first gals I met. She just felt right. I don't know how else to explain it. They all have the essentially the same experience on paper, so it comes down to who you think will fit best with the family. And she seemed great, had exceptional references, was good with Ben and Stella. What else could I ask for?

I was afraid to jinx things in the beginning but I'd be remiss not to post something at this point about her. She is awesome. She has initiative and came in ready to set schedules - feeding, napping, playtime. She has helped him master the morning nap, and is working on the afternoon one. She has stretched his feeding times to four hours which works wonders beyond explaining. She has fattened him up with her 8 oz bottles but my milk production has fallen right in line. Maybe he was always eating this much and I never noticed?

He adores her, and surprisingly it doesn't upset me (I'm the first to admit I want him to love me best, yet find myself calmed by him having more people to love in life than just us). She kisses him and really means it. She is as excited by his developments each day as we are, and eagerly reports them to me at the end of the day when I get home.

I'm just so thrilled it is working out. I'm working on getting some pics of her and Ben so you can see them together, but in short, I love knowing she is here with him when I can't be.

Follow up on Nanny for Hire

Thanks for the input on my Nanny for Hire post. I heard a lot of really great ideas and thoughts from many of you - much appreciated! One great place to start for those facing the same challenge is an article written by one of my co-workers which can be found here (thanks DW!).

I've officially started my "family manual" for Paula and feel better already. Getting organized is the best I can do to prepare for this part. The unannoyomous sentiment from everyone was that it is going to be even harder than I can imagine. But that it will get better with time.

Not surprising and good to know going into it.

The door is still open for thoughts and key learnings.

Thanks!

Nanny for Hire

I mentioned a couple weeks ago that I had begun the nanny search. We did hire one - Paula - and she will come one day later this month prior to starting full time on June 1st when I go back to work.

While millions have gone before me doing the same, I have to tell you I'm still struggling with the whole thing. I interviewed about 15 candidates before making the decision, and here is where I find myself conflicted:

- Professionally my hiring record isn't perfect, offering positions to a few folks we ultimately had to let go because they weren't the best person for the job. I don't want my track record to carry over at home;

- Still learning myself, it is hard to outline job descriptions or activities I'm going to want said nanny to do with Ben three months from now;

- While I'm not sure I'd really want to be a stay-at-home mom (in spite of how often I've said contrary), it is still hard to give a total stranger the opportunity to raise my baby.

I officially love this little guy more than I've ever loved anyone in my life (maybe even more than everyone I've ever love combined). And again, I'm going to hand him over to a 20-something girl I've met twice to essentially raise him. Ugh.

Paula was the first gal I interviewed (following a couple candidates from Craig's List) and after meeting with a dozen others, she was still my favorite. She asked to hold Ben (surprising the number of women who didn't); seemed very comfortable with him; she has great past experience; her references spoke very highly of her; she talked a lot, and very fondly, of "Jack," the little boy she is currently watching; and overall she just felt right.

So I'm left to hope for the best. Yet I see countless nannies out with their charges when Stella, Ben and I are out in the neighborhood. They are on their cell phones while pushing strollers, or hanging with other nannies, and it is hard not to wonder what Ben and Paula will be doing while I'm at work.

I draw comfort from the fact that hubby is frequently home throughout the day, and will be able to monitor daily events to some extent. And the fact that millions have gone before me. It will be fine, right?

Ugh.

I've also already had a dream that I was two hours late to work my first day back, unsuccessfully figuring out how to get Ben up, feed him, get ready myself and make it out the door.

I hope the next three weeks pass at a snail's pace. I've got a long way to go before I find peace with this.