Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween from the Little Bear!!

Fashion Plate

Sometimes it is hard not to treat him like a little doll because he looks so cute all decked out. And with gear like this kid's got, why not? 

Check out his awesome kicks from Robin and Lauren, my favorite gals at work, who picked these up for him while they were traveling for work in LA. They have SKULLS on them. To match his skull onsie of course. People stopped us on the street while we were shopping in Bucktown Sunday, I kid you not. 

First Real Food: Avocado

Remember when Ben WAS an avocado? In my tummy, that is? Today he ate his first real people food (as opposed to the pureed goodness in the jars), and it was an avocado. He loved it! As you may have seen in recent posts, he pretty much loves all food (another trait we can trace back to his mother). He's gotten really good with the puffs and can pick them up now, most make his mouth. So tonight we tried the avocado, with great success. I'm thrilled. I can't wait to eat together, can you think of anything more fun?!

Pinot and Special K?

I woke up today and momentarily considered eating my Special K with wine instead of milk.

What does that say about me?

Going on fifth day without hubby and while I CHERISH the time alone with my little guy, anticipating another couple days of single-parenthood, as a working mother, has me dreaming of alcohol at odd hours. What do single parents really do to survive??

I realized today that October has been a killer, with Ben's ridiculous morning hours (STILL IN DENIAL), colds, visitors, hubby gone most of the month, work super busy, poor Stella, it's a lot.

And the rain is always the deal-breaker. It's boring to even explain but it's the final straw in the Stella/Ben evening equation. Rain makes everything harder.

Again, am I complaining about this mundate junk? Yes. But at least with the wherewithall that I could have it much worse and am grateful that I don't. Obviously I'd be hard-pressed to handle it...

And as a completely random aside - have you tried Special K with berries (with milk)? Seriously, the bowl of cereal really sticks with you. I'm kind of amazed everytime I eat it. At 6am. And then don't eat again until lunch. And I'm a HUGE snacker. They may be on to something. I may eat a bowl for dinner too. Thanks mom, I owe you for that one. You really do know everything.

Happy Monday.

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Ben eating his puffs...pretty successfully given most typically end up in the highchair.

bath time smiles

I've been taking a lot of pictures lately, maybe because Ben has looked cuter? Does that just go without saying :) Enjoy.

Feeding update

So I'm pretty much over bf - it's kind of been a confluence of events. I've never been a fan of pumping, but obviously kept on. It seems like since we stopped the 9:30pm feeding, my production at night has been pretty weak, even for the 6pm meal. And lately, he hasn't been eating much for me, even in the middle of the day.

Perhaps it is because he has been eating more real food, and he is so much more aware of his surroundings now everything is a distraction. At the same time, I'm still tinkering with solutions to resolve this 4:30-5:30am wake up because it hasn't stopped. I wondered if he ate a little more before bed, it might help. 

So this week I transitioned to a bottle every night, and he seems to take about 7oz which is great (and more than he was likely getting from me). Problem is, when he is really tired, he just doesn't like drinking from a bottle for me. 

He cries, fusses and plows his head into my chest as if to say 'this is not what we do mom...' 

Truth be told, I also bought some formula today. I'm thinking about giving it a test run this week to see if he likes it - and the ped suggested we test to ensure he'll eat it, doesn't have a reaction to it, before I start planning the wean. The idea of quitting, or seriously cutting back, seems to be gaining momentum rapidly. I imagine I'll keep nursing for the first feeding of the day. I love that time together. And I have a ton of milk saved in the freezer, it lasts three months, so I could just start supplementing formula one feeding a day if I decide to go that route. 

Crazy the emotions though, I feel guilty and pretty selfish. And it is selfish. There is no good reason to quit. In fact, since I'm really not working out any more, it is quite stupid to quit. 

I'm committed to making it to Nov 9, without making any changes. That will be his 8-month birthday, exclusively bf for his whole life. But a change seems to be nearing. We will see. 

Little dude

It's just me and the little dude for a few days, hubby is traveling for work. It is sooo much easier than being alone when he was a newborn. Today we ran errands together, had lunch and soon are heading out for a big walk. Actually it's like having a little friend around

He is doing a lot of good standing these days. And Paula how to walk this week (holding hands of course and it is very slow going). Still no teeth but they are coming any day.

Enjoy a couple pics.

Breakfast with Ben

For the die hard Ben lovers out there, just a little video of breakfast this morning. Not really exciting, though you do see a full range of facial expressions. Haven't posted a video in a while so please accept this one until we have some better content.

Subtle Changes

The other thing that happened when we made it out of the sickness woods, all of last week's changes became more clear. In this picture you can see his hair is really filling out, and he is longer overall. He fits on my waist differently when I hold him, and while he is still a little chunkster, he seems more evenly balanced and lean.

I'm also toying with the idea of giving up one (bf) session a day, and doing the evening meal as a bottle. I heavied up on bottles last week overall b/c his appetite was down and I wanted to make sure I could monitor what he is taking in. And he really doesn't eat that much milk at night anyway so I think it is a good place to start to wean...need to buy some formula to make sure he'll drink it. Even though we have enough frozen milk in the freezer to send him off to college (too bad it doesn't keep that long).

Back to Ben

Thank goodness the little guy is finally feeling better. Boy, that took more out of him than I even realized. It wasn't until he started talking and smiling again yesterday that I realized how down he actually was. He slept most of the day Saturday and I think that helped him kick it for good, though he is still really stuffed up.

And somehow Monday snuck up on us again too quickly. Enjoy the pic and have a great day.

Big smiles

Ben's favorite, my sis. And one giant, gummy smile. 

I think teeth are in our near future. No actual sign of them yet, just seeing a lot more of his gums than ever before. 

What do you think? 

Family and Friends

I'm sitting upstairs listening to the poor little guy cough, sniffle and sneeze while he tries to get some sleep, hoping he feels better when he wakes up tomorrow. 

A few pictures from last weekend for you to enjoy. From the bottom, Ben's new best girl friend Tracy, sticking their tongues out at each other; hubby and mini me; hubby's cheering squad; laughing with grandma Marsha; and hanging with grandpa Joe. 

Look at all the hair that has come in over the last week, amazing. Good news too because for a couple days it was all standing on end and I was concerned he was going to be cursed with a horrible cowlick. I think now that it is getting longer it's weighing down. 

Colds Descend

Well after the high of the marathon, all the fans hit a speed bump. Ben woke up with a runny nose Monday, bounced back on Tuesday when I started feeling it, and by Wed everyone was in bad shape. Compounded by an unusually bad week at the office, we're left with bleary eyes, stuffed up heads, laundry and dishes piling up around us, Stella' s still limping, and germs, germs, germs.

Hubby is on the road, which is actually good. Hopefully it will break the cycle of spreading. Even Paula is sick. I've alcohol-wiped everything in the house and still turn to find Ben's fingers unexpectedly poking in my mouth and then immediately in his own. Alas, this is a losing battle.


Worst of all, this dumb cold has invited my worry demons back. You may remember "the worrier" which kept me up most of the night for the first 16 weeks of Ben's life? I literally have just started sleeping with the light off the monitor at night and now this.


As I stare at my little camper in his crib, tossing and turning, sniffling and coughing, I fight with the worrier to manage the freak out. Mostly recalling this stupid, stupid, stupid book I read while pregnant where the woman's baby died of the flu (don't even get me started, it seemed a quick, innocent read when I picked it up, I never saw it coming - trust me I never would have read it). I know I should be happy he is building his immune system, and of course he woke up smiling and laughing today even though his face was a mess with mucus. But the stupid worry. Ugh.

Anyway, we will all survive. God bless us that this is our biggest challenge with all that is going on with those around us. I can't even believe I'm typing this post now that I think of it.

I promise to put up some pictures in the next 48 hours. I have tons of cute ones (obviously) from the weekend.

Stay tuned!!

Run Hubby, Run

Congrats to hubby who finished another amazing marathon yesterday (this picture is actually from last year but he looked just as fresh post-race Sunday). It was a cold start, his least favorite conditions, but he was fast and consistent throughout.

And he and Gaston raised more than $3K for the American Brain Tumor Association (ABTA), which they supported in memory of Ryan.

The in-laws came to town to watch the race, their first marathon experience, which is always fun to share with new fans. They loved it, as did Ben, who was bundled up so tight he couldn't find his fingers or move his arms. My sis and her friend Tracy also came out which made the day even more fun overall.

And congrats to all the runners out there. I'm so proud of all of you!

Ben Loves...

Tonight while walking Stella (hubby was on the road so it was just a little team managing daily duties), Ben spent the whole time with his back arched, looking up at the trees, leaves and canopy. He loves the greenery, and when we walk close he grabs branches and thrills in the fact that he can shake the tree (thank you Peter Gabriel).

He loves the wind, and laughs immediately upon going outside if there is a breezy and his hair stands up.

He loves tummy time - we've been practicing and today he showed his first signs of crawling with a big lunge towards one of his favorite toys. He learned to spin around on his tummy last week, and now does so with tremendous ease.

His da-da-da-da. Oh man, he loves his dad. The smile hubby gets is so big and ridiculous, I'd be offended if I had time to think of anything besides how cute it is.

Paula, thank goodness.

Goofy, the cats, Stella, walking, laughing, flowers, smiling, eating, and basically just being the cutest baby ever.

Praise God - Ben slept until 645am. I slept in & feel like a million bucks. Have a great day!

Early Happy Halloween

I'm truly having a hard time concentrating on anything besides how funny and cute this picture is. I try to get work done, and am immediately drawn back to it. Going to make copy for my office. This is NOT his Halloween costume, rather PJs from his grandma Es for month of Oct. Stay tuned for more details.

I'll say it again, no one makes Ben laugh like hubby. It is heartwarming to watch every time. Here they are playing the new "take off Ben's socks" game that makes him laugh and scream. Enjoy!