(a few more) joys of breastfeeding

We're going on vacation while on vacation. The itinerary is so complex, I'd have to convince you it will be relaxing, and frankly I'm not yet sure myself.

However the trip involves almost 24 hours of alone time for me which sounds equal parts ridiculous, selfish, and glorious.

In order to pull off this insane agenda, I am leaving the kids with my parents for 2 days. Weeks ago I thought I'd just feed Gigi formula for a couple days but since she's proven so flexible in her feeding (not) I conceded to the fact that I'd need to bring milk with me.

Planning how many ounces she'll eat while we're apart, translated into 4 oz storage bags, requires college-level mathematics which I do NOT have.

So here we are at airport security, the line has already been unforgivably slow and we're going to have to run to the gate anyway when the agent pulls the cooler off the line and indicates it needs extra screening. Fine. Whatever.

But she then proceeds to unpack every. single. carefully. packed. bag (all18 of them) to wipe each down. Then she wipes me down. Then she wipes the cooler down. And then Litmus tests the fresh milk.

Really?

(We made the plane but not without me running ahead, Juliet in Bjorn, as they were calling final boarding)

Today I'm at a different airport, flying out to meet hubby somewhere else in FL and I'm standing in the bathroom stall pumping...thinking for the millionth time how unglamorous this all is.

Someone is smoking in the bathroom. Seriously. People still do that? And then someone knocks on my stall door to see if I'm OK.

Frankly I'm surprised this hasn't happened much sooner given the heightened airport awareness and all the weird noises the pump makes.

But more concerning than the broad across the isle lighting up?

And as I was cleaning all the pump parts in the sink, someone hurried into a bathroom stall while catching vomit in her hands. At that moment I decided to stop keeping all this great content to myself and start sharing.

The joys of breastfeeding they don't mention in the books...