Growing Pains

With the milestone of turning one year old, come a few fun advancements...

...the car seat turns around to face forward, rather than towards the rear;
...he ditches formula and starts on whole milk (yay!);
...we can try peanut butter AND bring a blanket into the crib (obviously totally unrelated).

However there are a couple bittersweet changes too...

...while we never relied too heavily on them, pacifiers have long since passed their time of necessity and off they go. Outside of briefly revisiting our trusty friend during a nasty cold this week, the little guy has done a much better job than anticipated leaving this habit in the dust. Something about this makes me feel like he is growing up too quickly though, I guess b/c you don't need a pacifier when you're not a baby.

And then there is the bottle. Sigh.

Months ago I started integrating the sippy-cups, and drinking with straws, in anticipation of this day. In fact we've nearly phased out bottles, keeping them for just two occasions - first thing in the morning and bed time. Yet, with this transition looming, I find myself making excuses and putting it off. Not because I don't think he'll deal well (though it is a tough competition as to who loves these sessions more), but b/c I'm going to miss them so much.

Man, this kid is a cuddler. You can't even imagine what a good cuddler he is until you've got his little arms wrapped around you, squeezing tight. He gives the best hugs. Especially during these two feedings, both done in the dark, snuggled together in the glider, just me and my little guy. He never cares how tightly I hold on. And when he's finished he always climbs up, latches on and lays his head down on my shoulder.

There is seriously nothing better in my world.

How do I say goodbye to this happiness?

Thankfully I have a full container of formula left and the ped said no reason to eliminate bottles before it's used up :)

Is there a support group for adults giving up the bottle? I need help.

Tiny steps, misc updates

The little guy took his first unassisted steps today. Three at a time. Amazing. How quickly do you think the full walking will follow?

Lots of bumps and bruises ahead in our future, but overall he seems pretty fearless. Even on the big tumbles, he needs a little hug and squeeze but is off again in no time.

Paula sent me a picture of him today from a playgroup/class they are taking now a couple days a week; he looked like a TODDLER. How does it happen so quickly?

Today also marks the first day of full formula moving forward. The great stash of milk in the freezer is officially drained. And he'll be 11 months next week.

Last week he started squeeling with delight when I came home at work. It was blissful. Only to be followed up by chasing after me this morning when I walked out the door, not quite so blissful.

But each day brings something new and fun. I just wish I could slow it down a bit :)

Feeding update

So I'm pretty much over bf - it's kind of been a confluence of events. I've never been a fan of pumping, but obviously kept on. It seems like since we stopped the 9:30pm feeding, my production at night has been pretty weak, even for the 6pm meal. And lately, he hasn't been eating much for me, even in the middle of the day.

Perhaps it is because he has been eating more real food, and he is so much more aware of his surroundings now everything is a distraction. At the same time, I'm still tinkering with solutions to resolve this 4:30-5:30am wake up because it hasn't stopped. I wondered if he ate a little more before bed, it might help. 

So this week I transitioned to a bottle every night, and he seems to take about 7oz which is great (and more than he was likely getting from me). Problem is, when he is really tired, he just doesn't like drinking from a bottle for me. 

He cries, fusses and plows his head into my chest as if to say 'this is not what we do mom...' 

Truth be told, I also bought some formula today. I'm thinking about giving it a test run this week to see if he likes it - and the ped suggested we test to ensure he'll eat it, doesn't have a reaction to it, before I start planning the wean. The idea of quitting, or seriously cutting back, seems to be gaining momentum rapidly. I imagine I'll keep nursing for the first feeding of the day. I love that time together. And I have a ton of milk saved in the freezer, it lasts three months, so I could just start supplementing formula one feeding a day if I decide to go that route. 

Crazy the emotions though, I feel guilty and pretty selfish. And it is selfish. There is no good reason to quit. In fact, since I'm really not working out any more, it is quite stupid to quit. 

I'm committed to making it to Nov 9, without making any changes. That will be his 8-month birthday, exclusively bf for his whole life. But a change seems to be nearing. We will see.