(Forced) Change is Good

From the start I said I'd want "the baby" out of our bedroom as soon as possible. That was before "the baby" was Ben, and before I really understood all the complexities that go into being a mom.

There is the worry (entire post coming on this shortly), the reality (of still feeding him 1-3 times a night), and the comfort (of having him close - which kind of ties with worry but also lives alone).

He started in our room b/c his nursery is in the basement and we sleep on the second floor. Logistically there was no other way. But as he begins to sleep longer through the night (thank God), the question becomes when does he move out of the nest?

Hubby has asked, thankfully not in an accusatory tone, mostly because he misses reading before bed, and I've put him off blaming the feeding schedule.

How do you know when the time is right? I'll miss the little guy. I get up a half dozen times a night to look at him (also addressed in "the worrier"), and love listening to his grunts and breathing.

As is often the case, change was forced upon us. With the warmer days comes the uncomfortably hot sauna that is our bedroom in the summer. Even with the air on full blast, and three fans going, the upstairs never really gets very cold. Last summer hubby bought "R2D2" - this giant eyesore of a portable airconditioner - just to make it tolerable to sleep.

But with a hot night suddenly prompting a full sweat, there wasn't time to dig the machine out of hiding, especially given Ben would ultimately move downstairs regardless.

And so we took the plunge. Really hubby spearheaded the effort with the appropriate calm air, while I was running around confused and a little freaked out. We have a "system" upstairs. How will we transition everything tonight?!

The little guy went down without noticing anything different (we've been doing daytime naps down there so it is familiar), and had a great night, followed by a huge nap later in the day.

Last night he had his best sleep ever - going down at 7:30pm, up to eat at 2am, and back down until 8am.

Truth be told, we made the move too. Hubby and I took to the spare bedroom next door. Partially to be close to Ben (me) and partially because the temp is so much more comfortable downstairs (hubby).

And you know what? The whole thing has been pretty liberating. Granted I only slept an hour the first night, the rest of the time was spent staring at the monitor which I had laying on my pillow. But last night I had one of the best night's sleep I've had in awhile. And everything was OK when I got up (the worrier).

With this I feel like something has shifted. Hubby and I have our night time routine back, just us. Ben seems to love it and (time will tell) also seems to be sleeper better during the day. With my return to work rushing closer by the second, it seems like the timing couldn't be any better.

Stella hasn't yet made the move. I found her sprawled out, big as can be, in our bed by herself last night after I was up for Ben's 2am feeding. Happy as a clam.

Given the path I was on, I'm sure hubby would have been prying Ben out of our room six months from now, with me in tears, if we hadn't made the change now.

Ten weeks. That isn't too terrible, right.

And it feels really good.

Thanks hubby for being your even-keeled self, helping me through the first of many times we'll have to loosen our parental grip slightly.